1. Be polite. You’ll notice most of our rules are a variation on this theme.

2. Hold the tea. And leave your relationship drama at the door.

3. Protect everyone’s privacy. Don’t out people or discuss scenes outside the club.

4. Manage your own comfort. If a scene or person upsets you, walk away.

5. Smoke or vape outside. Use the area behind the building, not the front.

6. Be as naked as you like. But don’t scare the vanillas. Cover up near outer doors. 

7. Respect neighbors and their space. They do not consent to our shenanigans.

8. Protect the furniture. Use a sheet to keep naked bits off the sofas and chairs.

9. Give more than you take. If you grab soda, coffee, or a snack, please donate.

10. Check in. Even if you’re only planning to stop in for a few minutes.

11. Bring your ID. Especially if you’re a guest or new member.

12. Adults only. No minors allowed. Ever. Ever, ever.

13. Get consent before you touch. That includes people, their toys, and their people.

14. Clean up your messes. If you use equipment, food, toys, kitchen… clean it.

15. Stow your things properly. Leave walkways and scene spaces clear for traffic.

16. Snack neatly. Keep food and drink in the kitchen and social areas.

17. No pay for play. Don’t exchange money in the club except at the desk / donation box.

18. Lock up your guns. The board member on duty will store it securely in the safe.

19. Stow your phone. Cameras too. If you’d like a pic ask a board member. 

20. Speak up if something breaks. We’ll remove it or fix it so no one gets hurt.

21. Share the play area. Move your aftercare to a quiet corner or a social area.

22. Be a good spectator. Don’t disturb a scene unless invited, and don’t disrupt the mood.

23. Jerk off with consent. Get permission from the scene players before a scene starts.

24. Give people space. Don’t invade personal space, relationships, or aftercare space.

25. Ask people to play. Using the white board works, too. Respect their first answer.

26. Play sober. Leave substances at home. If you seem altered we may ask you to leave. 

27. Red means “stop.” If we hear ‘red,’ we’ll check to make sure you’re okay.

What if I don’t follow the rules? 

ACES reserves the right to refuse entry, revoke membership, and/or remove someone from an event if they fail to adhere to the rules and guidelines. 

What if someone else doesn’t follow the rules?

If you see someone violating consent or otherwise failing to abide by ACES guidelines, please tell a DM or a board member as soon as possible. We may ask you to help us fill out an incident report.

What if I know someone is violating these rules outside the club?

ACES can only respond to incidents that occur on club property. If you have concerns that someone could pose a danger to club members, please privately speak to a board member, and we will discuss what we can do.

Who are the dungeon monitors (DMs) and what do they do?

Dungeon Monitors are experienced volunteers who help maintain safety and etiquette in the play space.

• They are not BDSM cops or personal assistants.

• If a DM taps into your scene, it's to ensure safety—please respond respectfully.

• DMs and Board Members may interrupt a scene if safety is a concern.
  

How do I ask someone to play?

• You are welcome to ask others to play—but be respectful.

• Use the Pick-Up-Play whiteboard or grab a name tag at reception to show your interests.

• No means no. Yes means yes. If someone is unsure or says “maybe,” it’s okay to check in later—but please don’t ask repeatedly.

Can I use ACES’ toys?

• Yes, there are a few community toys available.

• Clean them after use.

What are the safewords at ACES?

• Red is recognized as a universal safeword.

  • If “Red” is called, the DM or Board Member on Duty will monitor.

  • If the scene stops safely, play may resume.

  • If it does not stop or assistance is requested, staff may intervene.

What should I tell the DM before I start my scene?

• Notify the DM in advance if your scene includes:

  • Edge play (e.g., CNC, takedown, knives, needles, taboo play)

  • Loud or intense sounds

  • Messy materials (e.g., blood, wax, watersports)

  • Intricate or long scenes

  • Additional players joining after the scene starts

  • A partner masturbating to your scene (explicit consent must be clear)

What should I bring for my scene?

• Bring supplies for 100% containment of bodily fluids (e.g., towels, waterproof blankets).

• Watersports require full containment.

• A waterproof barrier must be used between your body and any surface post-play.

• If you lack proper containment or protection materials, you may not be permitted to do your scene.

What types of play are not allowed?

• ACES does not allow:

  • Real or toy guns

  • 100% asphyxiation, including waterboarding

  • 100% carotid artery compression

  • Scat

  • Rope around the neck

  • Single-rope TK suspensions

  • Open flames, including fire cupping and candle play (due to safety and insurance policies)

What’s different about play during open parties?

• At open parties, the following are not permitted:

  • No penetration of the vagina or anus with any object or body part

  • No oral, anal, or vaginal penetration with a penis (real, strap-on, or packed)